The 12-steps are a design for living – not just a code of principles and actions to stop drinking and using drugs , but a code of principles to help navigate through the turbulence of life , and to find peace, serenity and contentment.
Step 1– “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol/drugs-that our lives had become unmanageable”.
The first step is about ‘Honesty’.
Basically, meaning once you take the first drink/drug you have lost the power -addiction is now in control.
If you have one drink and cannot stop then you are “Powerless”, If your using starts affecting your relationships, job, finances, sanity -then things are getting unmanageable
Step 1 usually happens when an addict seeks help.
Step 2-“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
The second step is ‘Hope’.
Running our own lives has resulted in carnage. Maybe, our own will is flawed? As an addict most definitely. Has our life been a success? Can you do this on your own?
This step is recognising there is a solution to our woes and its not us running the show. Its time to have faith in something greater.
Step 3-” Made a decision to turn our lives and our will over to the care of God as we understood him”.
The third step is about surrender.
Don’t question everything! Did you manage to turn your life around on your own? Think the answer will be no?
Surrender does not mean defeat it means survival. Surrender your life and your will to something greater.
Step 4-“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”.
The fourth step is all about ‘Courage’.
Admitting all the things we have done in addiction, acknowledging the pain we have inflicted, looking back on our lives since our youth-what hurt us?, what bothered us?, what pain have we held onto?, What do we fear that is holding is back?
Step 5-“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”.
The fifth step is about integrity.
Sharing the inventory in our step 4 with another person. Have we ever spoken with another person about the traumas of our youth? When your first love dumped you for your mate! your relationship with your Dad. Steps 4 & 5 set us free of the chains of the past.
Step 6-“We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”.
The sixth step is willingness.
This step is all about defects -our defects. We were selfish, dishonest, greedy, egotistical, etc . These are things keeping us sick-we must work on them to grow
Step 7-” Humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings”.
The seventh step involves ‘Humility’.
We ask our higher power to remove our defects.
Step 8-“Made a list of all the persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all”.
The eighth step is all about ‘Love’.
How many times have we said sorry to people and it was just words? Now is the time to be really willing to make amends and mean it-to clear our side of the street.
Step 9-“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure themselves or others”.
The ninth step is about responsibility.
Take the initiative and own your accountability. Make your amends with sincerity, integrity and honesty.
Step 10-“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it”.
The tenth step promotes and encourages discipline.
Daily, we review our day- have we been selfish?, dishonest? Did we be the person we should have been today? If not, what could have we done better?
Were we resentful? why? What has caused our ill feeling?
Step 11-“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out”.
The eleventh step breeds awareness.
Prayer and meditation are so vital to the healthy maintenance of the recovering addict.
Step 12- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this messages to alcoholics/addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs”
The twelfth step is all about service- service helping others . Nothing insures immunity from using/drinking as intensive work with other addicts-its that simple.
David -care coordinator at Reflections says “the steps are simple, our brains make it complicated. its Clean house (step 10), trust God(step 3,11),help others(step 12)”.