Toxic triangle

A storm created by three people.

Much like the drama triangle this can be more unhealthy and is a tool to control and coerce vulnerable people. Top of the triangle is;

The destructive leader – a charismatic but very insecure individual, full of resentment and negative life themes and intent on controlling others. On many occasions this person will be a narcissist.

The susceptible follower – This can be one or multiple followers. This person will exhibit low self-esteem, low maturity and will probably in childhood have had unmet needs. This vulnerable person can be easily led.

Conducive environment For something to be created and flourish there needs to be an environment. Unfortunately, the environment for a toxic triangle to blossom has to be place of vulnerability and isolation where the destructive leader has all the power.

A common environment involves a cohabiting relationship where two individuals are in a physical relationship together and share the same accommodation. One of these people will be the destructive leader who endeavours to control the other by means of the toxic triangle. The leader will –

  • Distance the other from their family
  • Control their finances, opinions and social practices
  • ‘Put them down’ verbally
  • May be physically abusive
  • Prey on the other’s lack of confidence and worth

Unlike the drama triangle the toxic triangle has more features to one of its points. The destructive leader uses other individuals with which to control the follower. They will:

  • Recruit other individuals to help coerce and gas light & reinforce their opinions onto the follower
  • manipulate recruits to fulfil their own and the colluder’s ambitions
  • recruit individuals with similar unhealthy values

All this is to realise the leader’s ambition ambitions of control through toxic beahviour.

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