Co-dependence is defined as “An excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner”.
Co-dependent patterns of behaviour fall into 4 main themes;
- Tendency to focus on others
- Self-sacrifice/ people pleasing
- A need for control
- Difficulty recognising or expressing emotions
- The reasons for suffering from co-dependence are usually
- Lack of love & nurturing as a child
- Rejection or abandonment
- Family addiction
- Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
- Mental and physical illness
Co-dependent relationships are unhealthy relationships and neither party can ultimately be happy. The dynamics are distorted.
An individual subconsciously desires to find that connection they have never truly had or have lost.
The reasons why a person is co-dependent are not as important as the awareness of the trait- and its effects on a person’s life.
The individual has an emotional itch they can never seem to scratch, a subconscious craving, which translates into the traits and themes listed above –sometimes socially subtle.
We deal with clients every day who suffer from co-dependence, and they receive counselling through the “Gestalt psychology theory”.
Co-dependence can be treated by using the “Gestalt cycle of change”.